고요함

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요즘 문득 외롭다는 생각에 잠길때가 있다

친구가 보고 싶고

핸드폰을 집어들면 누군가에게 전화를 걸어서

얘기를 하고 위로를 받고 싶어질때가 종종 있다

내가 지금 잘살고 있다고,

힘든긴 하겠지만 내 결정이 옳았다고 위로를 받고 싶은것인가?

아니면 일이 힘든것에 대한 격려를 받고 싶은 것인가?

그런 느낌이 들어서

내 상황을 다시 반추해서 돌아보면

내 주변에 고요함이, 외로움이 더 커지는 것 같다.

마치 좋은 행복한 꿈을 꾸고 나서

갑자기 눈을 떳는데, 내 현재 상황은 정반대일때

느끼는 좌절감, 외로움

그런 감정들이 자꾸 올라와서 요즘날 힘들게 한다.

This Laziness & Desperation should come to an end.

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I made this blog last year hoping that it will record how I change myself day by day. 

Two or three days later, I got bored and totally throw away this site out of my memory. 
One year passed. I forgot about my desperate determination on improving myself and lived my daily life. 
I thought that if I take care of my daily life earnestly, I would find some peace in my life. 
I thought that my dreams on my careers would happened.
No, it didn’t worked like that. My colleagues and friends are leaving to other country with a better offer, 
but I am stuck in this stupid situation without any improvement. 
So, same thing happend as I did every year. 
I thought I need a change. 
I thought I had to record how I am going to change myself in a daily bases. 
‘Blogging it and Jot down my daily improvements’ come to my mind.
I looked for free blog site & WordPress came up to my mide. 
I tried to sign-up and create a new blog. 
Then, my browser find out that I already had a account in wordpress,
so I logged in and found out that I had the exatly same thought last year. 
What I thought was exactly the same. But nothing changed during the last year. 
Ok, I can say that something changed, like 2 or 3 more publication, but it is just minor improvements.
If I recall my life for the past 6 or 7 years, I think I am just following the same pattern every year and year. 
First I feel desperate for my career. 
So, I think that I need to improve myself. 
I create blog or start a diary or buy a planner. 
I use it for 2 or 3 days and got bored and throw it away and live my daily ordinary life. 
Then, next year around the same time, I came to the same place, feel the same desperation, and feel really bad about myself. 
How many times do I have to do this to myself?
I can’t do this anymore. I am not that old but I am not that young either. 
This time, I really need an improvement. 
The one that I can show to myself after one year and feel totally proud about my self. 
I need this kind of improvement. 

Shaping The Light

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Think about a lightbulb. Soft, white, diffused light. It speeds in all directions, illuminating the room. Unfocused.

Now, place a mirrored cup around that same light, point the cup’s opening at a specific point, and now you have a spotlight.

Focused in one direction.

Now, start to constrain that opening. Shape it as a cone. You have a beam. A laser.

A beam powerful enough to burn a hole in any object it is directed at. Extreme focus.

Same energy. Just shaped in different ways. And, once shaped, its strength, intention, and purpose is changed.

This is you. This is your time. This is your attention. This is your energy.

The same energy that you currently spread amongst the many tasks you are now doing,

can be focused to put a real, deep, burning, hole right in the center of the one thing you should be doing.

via patrickrhone

Middle East Respiratory Syndrome Coronavirus (MERS-CoV)

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News articles related to MERS-CoV

This is how MERS-CoV is spreading out (Map)

  1. http://wgntv.com/2013/06/03/warning-out-about-new-deadly-virus/
  2. http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-204_162-57586716/scientists-on-mers-deadly-virus-may-linger-longer-than-once-thought/
  3. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2290033/Doctors-warned-vigilant-warn-new-deadly-virus-sweeping-globe-Middle-East.html
  4. http://www.voanews.com/content/global-concern-grows-about-deadly-middle-east-respiratory-syndrome/1674403.html
  5. http://www.thv11.com/news/health/267260/126/World-Health-Organization-concerned-about-new-deadly-virus
  6. http://www.foxnews.com/health/2013/05/13/new-sars-like-virus-can-probably-pass-person-to-person-who-says/
  7. http://www.middle-east-online.com/english/?id=58888
  8. http://opinion.inquirer.net/54005/deadly-mers-cov

Converting from Matlab to SciPy/Matplotlib

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I used Matlab on my research for more than 10 years.

However, there are some limitations that I encountered recently;

like the graphic quality (exporting eps) and program reliability on Linux machines.

So, I am thinking to shift my work environment from Matlab to Scipy/Matplotlib.

I will test Scipy over the next three month and see how it works out for me.

Any advice or thoughts related to this move will be highly appreciated.

Here are some helpful links that I found.

http://scipy-lectures.github.io/index.html

http://koen.me/research/teaching-asci/python-workshop-slides.pdf

http://www.scipy.org/NumPy_for_Matlab_Users

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=1398975

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=363096

http://www.quora.com/Python-Libraries/Will-SciPy-NumPy-and-Matplotlib-replace-MATLAB

Enjoy Life

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I would like to say a few things to all the people who have said that they feel few emotions.

‘Normal’ human emotion is not true emotion, it is a conditioned response.

Real love begins where normal emotion ends.

So if you don’t feel normal you may just be more real than normal.

It’s amazing how many truly good people think there is something wrong with them.

An emotional person is an unstable person, sometimes to the point of being dangerous.

All emotion comes from the past and in truth there is no past.

As a person starts to become more real, or is born more real, they experience life in ways which normal people don’t.

The thing is not to doubt myself just because I’m different.

Just be what you are and don’t create a problem of that.

What other people think of me is none of my business.

My business is enjoying this miracle called life.

 

via somewhere in the Internet