This Laziness & Desperation should come to an end.


I made this blog last year hoping that it will record how I change myself day by day. 

Two or three days later, I got bored and totally throw away this site out of my memory. 
One year passed. I forgot about my desperate determination on improving myself and lived my daily life. 
I thought that if I take care of my daily life earnestly, I would find some peace in my life. 
I thought that my dreams on my careers would happened.
No, it didn’t worked like that. My colleagues and friends are leaving to other country with a better offer, 
but I am stuck in this stupid situation without any improvement. 
So, same thing happend as I did every year. 
I thought I need a change. 
I thought I had to record how I am going to change myself in a daily bases. 
‘Blogging it and Jot down my daily improvements’ come to my mind.
I looked for free blog site & WordPress came up to my mide. 
I tried to sign-up and create a new blog. 
Then, my browser find out that I already had a account in wordpress,
so I logged in and found out that I had the exatly same thought last year. 
What I thought was exactly the same. But nothing changed during the last year. 
Ok, I can say that something changed, like 2 or 3 more publication, but it is just minor improvements.
If I recall my life for the past 6 or 7 years, I think I am just following the same pattern every year and year. 
First I feel desperate for my career. 
So, I think that I need to improve myself. 
I create blog or start a diary or buy a planner. 
I use it for 2 or 3 days and got bored and throw it away and live my daily ordinary life. 
Then, next year around the same time, I came to the same place, feel the same desperation, and feel really bad about myself. 
How many times do I have to do this to myself?
I can’t do this anymore. I am not that old but I am not that young either. 
This time, I really need an improvement. 
The one that I can show to myself after one year and feel totally proud about my self. 
I need this kind of improvement. 

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